Self-Introductory Blogpost
Dear
Professor Brad,
I am Liew
Siew Hoong, 24, currently a Year 1 student studying in SIT’s Mechanical Design
and Manufacturing Engineering course. Today, I am writing to you to share a
little bit more about myself. I was also a Mechanical Engineering student back
at Ngee Ann Polytechnic. I chose Engineering because I fell in love with the
mechanics of automotive engineering. Since I was a little boy, I’ve always
loved cars and it slowly developed into a passion for the automotive world.
Having an
outgoing personality, I’ve always found no trouble in talking to friends about
anything under the sun. One example that I can cite from being a badminton
player is how I always motivate my teammates to do their best regardless of the
outcome. However, there’s no rose without a thorn, I am somebody who struggles
with public speaking. When in front of a big audience or unfamiliar faces, I
will lose confidence when speaking. I once had stage fright when I was called
up to speak on behalf of my badminton team in front of the whole school back
when I was in secondary school, and I couldn’t get my sentences proper.
Through this
module, I aim to better understand the art of public speaking. The
presentations laid out for us in the coming weeks should further improve my
confidence in public speaking. Another point I aim to achieve is having more
meaningful and effective conversations with our peers in class through critical
thinking and empathy.
Being a
sportsman since I was young, I have always strived to do my best in whatever I
do, and I hope it will help me in my path to develop more effective
communication skills in this module.
Thank you
for taking your time to read this short introduction, and I aim to make full use
of the time we have together in class.
Best
Regards,
SiewH
*updated 18/1/2024
"Thank you for taking you time" should be changed to "Thank you for taking your time" in the last line. Otherwise, a very good letter that gives a brief introduction of yourself
ReplyDeleteThank you syahmi for your comment, i have edited the small grammar error prior. thanksss
DeleteGreat intro and excellent use of examples to elaborate on your points, Siew. Keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for the comment!
DeleteHi Siew Hoong
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing a very detailed introduction of yourself, along with good examples that I can also relate to such as your struggles with public speaking and how you had stage fright when speaking to the whole school. I think its important to work on these weaknesses because as engineers we need to be able to communicate our ideas clearly and confidently to the world.
I like the sportsman spirit that you have shown in this letter. It helped me gain a better understanding of your background.
One feedback I would like to add is to avoid the use of contractions in formal letters. For example, "I've always loved cars" should be changed to "I have always loved cars".
Aside from that, this is a well written introduction and I enjoyed learning more about you. I look forward to seeing you in class!
Best Regards
Syahmi
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear Siew (aka Mr Confirm),
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this clearly articulated, well developed and informative letter. You address the key components of the brief and provide substantial details. For instance, it's impressive how you have described your ability to motivate teammates "to do their best regardless of the outcome" while you're playing badminton. I'm not sure though if that should only be chartacterized as a means of "talking to friends" (as you have suggested). There's something bigger at play here: leadership, possibly?
You also elaborate well on your other communication skills and the aims you have for this module. You mention "the art public speaking" as being a goal. That's admirable, and again, for a leader, an indispensable part of the toolkit.
I guess what I'm getting at here, Siew, is that I sense in this letter and also in your eye for detail and the wit you show in class that you have potential that hasn't been fully realized yet. Your classmates' reaction to some of your more jovial public comments corroborates the sense I have about your "outgoing personality." I'm honoured to be privy to your further development, a matter I don't take lightly
In terms of language use, this is a fluent effort but there are two areas to consider:
1. sentence structure
-- However, there’s no rose without a thorn, I am somebody who struggles with public speaking. > (comm splice)
2. overuse of caps
-- I was also a Mechanical Engineering student.... > ?
-- I chose Engineering because... > ?
Let's get to work. (I can hear your voice: Confirm!)
Cheers,
Brad
Thank you prof for the encouragements and positive feedback on my blog! will continue to work hard and push myself to do better:) ive also taken note of the errors i have made and will subsequently be more mindful of them. Thanks Prof!
Delete